The Cycle of Vitality – Way 2: Assess Your Relaxation Habits
I recently returned from a three day solo retreat at Wild Rice Retreat Center in Bayfield, Wisconsin. I was so excited to hole up in my beautiful Rice Pod, read books, write, perhaps work on my website, and be inspired! All which sounded incredibly fun, relaxing and invigorating. I came back having read 10 pages of one book (why did I lug 6 others?!), writing a lot – in my journal, and completed not a speck of “inspired” work. Instead, I went to morning intention setting, daily yoga, ate two healthy meals a day, lounged on a sailboat, went for long silent walks, sat in deck chairs and just stared at trees and water with no intent except to sit. I even spent a full hour dancing hard in the Peace Pod all to myself – so exhilarating!
When I returned, my sister asked me, “So, do you need a vacation from your vacation?” I paused and said, “No, actually. It was very rejuvenating and exactly what I needed.” I truly did feel grounded and recharged. It got me thinking about our choices of “receiving” in the vitality cycle when it comes to relaxation and rejuvenation. What choices we make matter.
We often come home from work (or walk out of our home office) and feel exhausted. Or maybe you just finished cooking dinner for the family, everyone is racing off to evening activities and you happen to be the chauffeur. It’s go, go, go. We might have a few minutes to ourselves as we wait for hockey practice or violin lessons to be done, or after finishing up taking care of some house cleaning that was really screaming at you. How do we relax? Do you play solitaire on your phone (guilty), maybe get one more thing done on your list that you think will relax you? Sew that baby blanket for the upcoming baby shower, or maybe go for a run? First, noticing what you do to relax is important. Are you physically and mentally allowing yourself to rest? To relax?
Are you one of the 47% of Americans that say you feel relaxed less than 40 minutes a day?
Now, ask yourself which of these things are a way of escaping and which are actually rejuvenating. (And sometimes they are both!) Not that a little bit of escapism might not help give yourself a break before tackling something difficult, but when you look at the ways you relax – do they serve you? Do they truly replenish you and repair the cycle of vitality? Or are they numbing you so that you don’t have to face the brokenness that might be present?
I like how Industrial Athletics puts it in their blog, “Relaxing helps us live more toward our purpose and provides us the energy to work toward our goals. Escaping helps us mindlessly turn off our brain, so that when we have to return to our regular life, it seems more bearable.”
Dr. Sarah Webb’s blog on self-care has a similar perspective when she compared self-care and escapism, “The primary difference between self care vs. escapism is whether the practice allows you to open up to your life and face each day more well, to thrive in all areas of your life, or whether the habit numbs you to your life and makes it more difficult to thrive.”
So, don’t beat yourself up for a little escapism, but recognize when it gets in the way of what you want in life.
Life is hard work and breaks from “work” are important. We invite you to be honest with yourself and assess whether you are relaxing in a way that serves your goals and dreams…and your cycle of vitality…or not.
Tool: Use this simple tool as a journal reflection to help you take an honest look at your relaxation habits.
Guided Embodied Reflection: Listen to this guided embodied reflection to check in with your body and what it can help you uncover about your relaxation habits and needs.